Thursday, March 19, 2009

Looking

Growing up was not easy for me. It was a dark and uncomfortable childhood. I have gotten past all that. I have forgiven and I hope I have been forgiven. I don't have alot of dark days where I find myself reliving the past. I DO have traits from my childhood that I have learned that makes me who I am today. It makes me remember why I do what I do, why I feel the way I do and how I process situations.

I remember as a child looking at these other "happy" families and making a mental note on what and how they did things. One family went swimming every Friday night. Another family always had their door open for anyone. One family sang in the car everywhere they went.

Where am I going with this? I just figured out that I have never stopped looking for a role model. Not then and Not today. Does this make me weak? I don't think so. I think it makes me wise. I was not equipped with the basic tools and if I was I am sure most of life is from trial and error. I believe knowledge is power. I don't stop looking. Looking for advice. Looking for comfort. Looking for direction.

I can't sleep..I want to write every single person in my life then and now and tell them the one thing they did that changed my life forever. I don't ever want to miss my chance.

Wow..this is deep...:)


4 ...Stalker Comments:

Laurel

Hi Tiffiny,

Looks like we are both up thinking and processing deep thoughts tonight, and sharing them with our dear blogging friends.

I want you to know ... I had a very dark childhood, and I, too, kept track of all of the things that the "happy families" did. They hugged their kids, and even sometimes kissed them good-bye. I didn't know what a hug or kiss was in my family. They invited friends over; my family didn't have any friends. Their parents loved each other; mine certainly didn't.

Oh ... I could go on and on and on tonight ...

I, too, am so thankful for the amazing people that God put into my life, to be examples, to give direction, to pray for me and my family. Yes, even when we don't come from a "happy place", God can lead us out of our darkness, and into our own happy places.

Love ya,

Laurel

(I've noticed a few deep posts by you this week. I, too, have had a deep/tough week. Let's pray for each other.)

Heather D

It's funny, I had a relatively uneventful childhood and I look to people who didn't and am amazed and awed by their strength and perseverance. You're awesome!
And yes, that we DEEP!

Kimberly

I know what you mean about looking for role models. Nearly everything I do I learned from those who God has brought into my life. We can learn so much from others, no need to reinvent the wheel.

Great Post!!

Blessings,
Kimberly

Sara Joy

You are an inspiration Tiffiny!!! Never ever stop looking for role models and know that someone out there is looking at you and your family wishing it was theirs :} You are an incredible Mom! I love reading your blog.