So, I can't sleep. My nerves are shot. I am tired. My mind is spinning. I am trying to figure this think we call life out. It is not working.
This is what happens when I try to reflect or dig deep...yep, I get all emotional. I was thinking of what 2009 brought for me. Here is what i came up with...
A better year of adjusting with 2 small kids. It was tough for me in the beginning. I had 2 surgeries by the time Carter was 6 months old. I am really enjoying them alot more. The house is filled with more laughter and craziness then I ever dreamed of.
I appreciate my mom for who she is. I love her. I spent alot of years angry at her. I have forgiven her. I could not imagine life without her in it.
I have become closer to my in-laws. Not just my mother in law but Jeremy's Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and even 2nd cousins and to me that is one of the best parts of this journey.
I am the mom to a teenager. YIKES. really? How did that happen? I love every minute of the hormone filled alien boy.
I watched my little sister struggle, as her husband left her pregnant with their 4th child for her best friends sister. I watched her pull her shoulders back, keep her chin up and plow through..I am proud of her.
I had my brother here this year....we grew close and I wouldn't trade the 19 months for anything..the good, the bad and the ugly.
I let go of hurtful long relationships and created new friendships. {{ Hi Leah}}
So here is why I shouldn't dig deep at 10pm...I need sleep. I have way more to share but hey I need to save some for another post..
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Have you ever..
Just sucked it up? I mean really? Like in not saying a word even to the person who deserves to be spoken to? I don't know if keeping quiet is all that good for one's soul.
I know that if I did or said something that offended someone I would want to be told.Normally my intentions are never to be mean spirited however sometimes perception of what I said is NOT always the reality of what I meant. I don't want to be told in an on air letter on facecrack or in a comment on my blog but I would want to know. I would want it done out of love and respect and if they couldn't do that then write me a letter. I would hate for that person to carry it in their heart.
Great, now my inbox will be flooded with letters.
I don't know if it is because I am older that I don't say anything but then I sit here and dwell on it. It consumes me. It makes me nutty.
Really it does.
It is because I care. Now this may seem childish to some of you and to others you may just want the "dirt" but I am asking you, when should you say something?
I suck up alot. I don't say anything to the people who think they have life figured out,parade around me like they are the best parents ever, have everyone physco analyzed, think they are better due to the fact they work harder then so & so...Whatever, really I could care less.
I am to think you become engaged in your own weakness.
So you don't say anything.
It could be that maybe the person won't take you serious. Maybe they will be all defensive and then it will escalate into a big hair pulling Knock down fight ( joking) or maybe you are insecure on the way you feel, that you think your creating drama.
When do you people say something if you say anything at all?
I know that if I did or said something that offended someone I would want to be told.Normally my intentions are never to be mean spirited however sometimes perception of what I said is NOT always the reality of what I meant. I don't want to be told in an on air letter on facecrack or in a comment on my blog but I would want to know. I would want it done out of love and respect and if they couldn't do that then write me a letter. I would hate for that person to carry it in their heart.
Great, now my inbox will be flooded with letters.
I don't know if it is because I am older that I don't say anything but then I sit here and dwell on it. It consumes me. It makes me nutty.
Really it does.
It is because I care. Now this may seem childish to some of you and to others you may just want the "dirt" but I am asking you, when should you say something?
I suck up alot. I don't say anything to the people who think they have life figured out,parade around me like they are the best parents ever, have everyone physco analyzed, think they are better due to the fact they work harder then so & so...Whatever, really I could care less.
I am to think you become engaged in your own weakness.
So you don't say anything.
It could be that maybe the person won't take you serious. Maybe they will be all defensive and then it will escalate into a big hair pulling Knock down fight ( joking) or maybe you are insecure on the way you feel, that you think your creating drama.
When do you people say something if you say anything at all?
Monday, December 28, 2009
What more could I ask for?
We are not the type pf people to have huge want list. We are basic people. We live for each day to be filled with laughter. There are days that tears will out weigh the laughter. There are days that the bills pile higher then the balance in our checkbook. There are days that we lay in bed at tonight thinking we have made huge mistakes as parents and as a spouse. There are days we can't seem to pull it together. However, there are more accomplished days then defeated days.
We received gifts this year that where basic much needed items. We received a camera ( thanks to my brother in law & friend we have been borrowing a camera for 2 years)a DVD player ( ours broke a year ago), a video camera and a trampoline ( to replace our very broken 15 year old one), among other small personal gifts. When opening up our gifts I felt as though we did not deserve such gifts. We could not possibly repay the gift givers. We are such basic people that we honestly felt overwhelmed with the generosity of others. My children received gifts that we could have never purchased them at this time in our life.
As we crawled into bed I told Jeremy that we couldn't be anymore blessed. He looked at me and said the same thing. As if his thoughts and feelings aligned with mine. I didn't have to say another word. He told me that with all of everything we have been through in our short 10 years of marriage, the birth of 3 kids ( all of them having very stressful situations) we have remained strong , putting one foot in front of the other , sometime repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
We have amazing friends and family who look out for us, believe in us and take care of us beyond the gifts of Christmas.
What more could we really ask for?
We received gifts this year that where basic much needed items. We received a camera ( thanks to my brother in law & friend we have been borrowing a camera for 2 years)a DVD player ( ours broke a year ago), a video camera and a trampoline ( to replace our very broken 15 year old one), among other small personal gifts. When opening up our gifts I felt as though we did not deserve such gifts. We could not possibly repay the gift givers. We are such basic people that we honestly felt overwhelmed with the generosity of others. My children received gifts that we could have never purchased them at this time in our life.
As we crawled into bed I told Jeremy that we couldn't be anymore blessed. He looked at me and said the same thing. As if his thoughts and feelings aligned with mine. I didn't have to say another word. He told me that with all of everything we have been through in our short 10 years of marriage, the birth of 3 kids ( all of them having very stressful situations) we have remained strong , putting one foot in front of the other , sometime repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
We have amazing friends and family who look out for us, believe in us and take care of us beyond the gifts of Christmas.
What more could we really ask for?
Lies Women Believe
I know I should be blogging about how our Christmas went. I will later. It wasn't a bad Christmas. No drunk Uncles to speak of and no domestic police calls so a post on Christmas can wait.
I started reading a book ( now that I have my room back) a few weeks ago, Lies Women Believe . It is a book based on lies we believe about ourselves. This books is not only about Lies but about emotions such as
Frazzled.
defeated.
burned out.
Overwhelmed.
confused.
frustrated.
uptight.
insecure.
lonely.
ashamed.
fearful.
Lies turn into Bondage, You can be bondaged to your past. Many Women are gripped by fear of rejection, fear of what others think of them, they long for approval. Other women might be emotional prisoners,enslaved by worry,fear, anger,depression and self-pity.
It is a wonderful book. I highly recommend it to any women out there who struggles with any of this.
There is Hope.
I started reading a book ( now that I have my room back) a few weeks ago, Lies Women Believe . It is a book based on lies we believe about ourselves. This books is not only about Lies but about emotions such as
Frazzled.
defeated.
burned out.
Overwhelmed.
confused.
frustrated.
uptight.
insecure.
lonely.
ashamed.
fearful.
Lies turn into Bondage, You can be bondaged to your past. Many Women are gripped by fear of rejection, fear of what others think of them, they long for approval. Other women might be emotional prisoners,enslaved by worry,fear, anger,depression and self-pity.
It is a wonderful book. I highly recommend it to any women out there who struggles with any of this.
There is Hope.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Oreo Truffles
Wanna add 10 pounds to your waistline? Then don't make these...and if you do make these...give them away...
1 package of Oreos
1 package of Oreos1 package of Almond bark ( white or chocolate)
1 package of Cream Cheese
Crush Oreo's to a fine powder
( use a food processor, works like a charm and speeds up the process)
mix Oreos with soft cream cheese , I microwaved the cream cheese
let chill for an hour or so
roll into balls
melt bark in microwave
dip balls into bark
When dipping the balls I found if you just put the balls into the chocolate and spoon out it works the best, better then trying to mess with toothpick for dipping.
Then your done! So yummy!!
I doubled the batch...and it worked great!
if I can do this....really, you can too!
Sooo...
What have we been up to?
Well, Miss America thinks that Jesus should deliver the presents and not Santa. Matthew is teetering in between being off the good list and on to the naughty list. Carter is...well, I don't want to call him naughty, but he kinda is.
Miss America can't understand why we get 2 Christmas. I tried to explain to her that one day is for my mom and one day is for dads mom. She thinks we should all get together at Grammy Karen's. " You know kinda just pretend it is like my birthday"
Carter....hit and miss with the throw up. I am thinking we are on to something with the medications. He is doing so much better.
Good news is he slept 4 days out of 9 through the night!!! and out of the 9 only 3 times in my bed. I was just saying to Jeremy that I think we can go to a queen size bed. He reminded me that we still have kids in our bed and what if we want anymore? yeah, he said "anymore" like in more kids...I had to laugh..on the days I am DONE he is not and on the days he is DONE I am not. Who could ever be done with such Chaos?
Although I have to say i have adjusted more over the last year then the first year of having small kids and it is, the way it is. Yes, I work around nap times and the noise level can get out of control but I love having to pee with the bathroom door open, tyring to find matching socks, running late,slimy hand prints, burping , farting x3 , forgetting manners, breaking my stuff, coloring on my walls, destroying my vehicles, draining the pocketbook,paintballing the neighbors house,talking back and eye rolls this...I really do.
Today we are having my side of the family over. 2 days of presents....how exciting! tonight I get to be Santa..leaving that one big gift by the tree..pretending I came through the chimney, eating cookies and writing a letter..oh, the memories...
Well, I better get started and try and figure out how to get yellow paintball off my neighbor's house....
Well, Miss America thinks that Jesus should deliver the presents and not Santa. Matthew is teetering in between being off the good list and on to the naughty list. Carter is...well, I don't want to call him naughty, but he kinda is.
Miss America can't understand why we get 2 Christmas. I tried to explain to her that one day is for my mom and one day is for dads mom. She thinks we should all get together at Grammy Karen's. " You know kinda just pretend it is like my birthday"
Carter....hit and miss with the throw up. I am thinking we are on to something with the medications. He is doing so much better.
Good news is he slept 4 days out of 9 through the night!!! and out of the 9 only 3 times in my bed. I was just saying to Jeremy that I think we can go to a queen size bed. He reminded me that we still have kids in our bed and what if we want anymore? yeah, he said "anymore" like in more kids...I had to laugh..on the days I am DONE he is not and on the days he is DONE I am not. Who could ever be done with such Chaos?
Although I have to say i have adjusted more over the last year then the first year of having small kids and it is, the way it is. Yes, I work around nap times and the noise level can get out of control but I love
Today we are having my side of the family over. 2 days of presents....how exciting! tonight I get to be Santa..leaving that one big gift by the tree..pretending I came through the chimney, eating cookies and writing a letter..oh, the memories...
Well, I better get started and try and figure out how to get yellow paintball off my neighbor's house....
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Aww..Pajamas
I can wear my pajamas to work. I can go to work without a shower. I don't have an "official" alarm. I don't sit at a desk all day( no matter what my family tells you) and I can go from one production room to the next without leaving the warmth of my house. What do I have to complain about?
I don't have enough pajama pants..HA!
The one thing I love are CUTE pajama pants..striped ones are my fav!
So if you came over and I am in my pajamas remember that they are part of my work uniform.
Today I must find a sitter. I need to finish shopping. I really hate shopping. It is not a past time for me. I wish I could say it was but when I go into a store I find myself mulling over prices and price tags and clearance prices and discounts....to many numbers for me I tell ya...
I am LUCKY , I have yet to wrap a presents. Yay! for best friends who are detailed...my presents can be found in gift bags or rolled in the paper with a a ton of tape. None of this fancy schamncy stuff for me.
Laundry going...floors vacuumed and now that I feel productive I can blog. Blogging is not fun when your children can't play in any room without the fear of taking them to the ER with an injury caused by messiness....
We have a cookie exchange this weekend...Still on the fence about what I am making..have I mentioned before I am not a baker and a procrastinator? Not a good combo...
So here is to Pajama pants...may they never quit making cute ones!
I don't have enough pajama pants..HA!
The one thing I love are CUTE pajama pants..striped ones are my fav!
So if you came over and I am in my pajamas remember that they are part of my work uniform.
Today I must find a sitter. I need to finish shopping. I really hate shopping. It is not a past time for me. I wish I could say it was but when I go into a store I find myself mulling over prices and price tags and clearance prices and discounts....to many numbers for me I tell ya...
I am LUCKY , I have yet to wrap a presents. Yay! for best friends who are detailed...my presents can be found in gift bags or rolled in the paper with a a ton of tape. None of this fancy schamncy stuff for me.
Laundry going...floors vacuumed and now that I feel productive I can blog. Blogging is not fun when your children can't play in any room without the fear of taking them to the ER with an injury caused by messiness....
We have a cookie exchange this weekend...Still on the fence about what I am making..have I mentioned before I am not a baker and a procrastinator? Not a good combo...
So here is to Pajama pants...may they never quit making cute ones!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Can you guess?
Who has the only non matching stocking in the house?
Who decorates the tree a million times a day?
Just one guess.............
Who decorates the tree a million times a day?
Just one guess.............In true Tiffiny Fashion
Last Friday Matthew was looking for super glue on EBAY for a big model boat he was working on. He had hit purchase. I told him could not commit to buy anything without my permission. I then had to pay for the 10 tubes of superglue ( he thought he had ordered one , however it was ONE lot of TEN) before I got in trouble for not purchasing.
Monday I got a package. I went to cut in open and wouldn't you know it....I cut into the superglue! I flung the scissors, by doing that I had superglue on my lips, eyes, hair, shirt, counter , hands and scissors.
My lips began to stick together. Yes, I pulled them apart. BAD idea...they started to bleed. I had freaking glue everywhere!! NO JOKE
I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry.
I wasn't sure how Super Hobby glue could arrive from Florida in 3 days but it did....
What kinda feedback will I leave for the seller??
I mean when the post office clerk asks if your shipping something dangerous, fragile or flammable....SAY YES cuz you never know when you'll get a Tiffiny on the receiving end.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Waiting for this day all year!!
Miss America LOVES to perform..She has been waiting all year for her Christmas program...I think she just waited all year for the dress. She was so excited !
Tis the Season to be Naughty
Really Carter John....Baby Cereal taste better in Liquid form..not dry flakes
He tried to wrap it back up for me...
He proudly yells CHEESE
He can say "naughty" ....I wonder why???
He tried to wrap it back up for me...
He proudly yells CHEESE
He can say "naughty" ....I wonder why???
"Not" so Warm Beach
We went to the Lights of Christmas at Warm Beach Conference center on Saturday. It was AMAZING and COLD!
We will be going back next year but hoping that we can spend a little bit more time there.
Getting ready to go....
Thanks Uncle B for standing in line with me for a pony ride...
Grammy , Matthew and Miss America
One of the 3 pictures he let me take of him...and he only took this one because of Grammy
I made Jeremy bend down and be the small Gingerbread man...
Not sure of Santa...Liv would not get to close..close enough to tell him she really wanted Polly Pockets
You can't see liv..but it was me & Her
High Five??
Even though it was cold..we had lots of fun..and because it was so cold , there was activities we put on hold till next year...
We will be going back next year but hoping that we can spend a little bit more time there.
Getting ready to go....
Thanks Uncle B for standing in line with me for a pony ride...
Grammy , Matthew and Miss America
One of the 3 pictures he let me take of him...and he only took this one because of Grammy
I made Jeremy bend down and be the small Gingerbread man...
Not sure of Santa...Liv would not get to close..close enough to tell him she really wanted Polly Pockets
You can't see liv..but it was me & Her
High Five??
Even though it was cold..we had lots of fun..and because it was so cold , there was activities we put on hold till next year...
Never to late for postings..
Yeah...I am cool sister in law...everyone needs a Borat Mankini
Matthew & Emily...
Everyone uses Tea lights as candles for a birthday cake right???
Cousin Kristin & my Allstar...
Cousin Kristi & Kathy...{{Hi Guys}}
Strike a pose....
Matthew & Grandma Rosalie
Grandpa making wishes...How cool is that when your turning 93??
I think he likes her...
Matthew & Emily...
Everyone uses Tea lights as candles for a birthday cake right???
Cousin Kristin & my Allstar...
Cousin Kristi & Kathy...{{Hi Guys}}
Strike a pose....
Matthew & Grandma Rosalie
Grandpa making wishes...How cool is that when your turning 93??
I think he likes her...
Rainy Lake Fun
Our trip to Eastern Washington was rainy. We made the best of it and created lots of memories...
Like trying to drive a car....
Trying to be cool
Trying to bad....
Pouting when we don't get our way
Practicing our singing....
Bonding
and cuddling
Like trying to drive a car....
Trying to be cool
Trying to bad....
Pouting when we don't get our way
Practicing our singing....
Bonding
and cuddling
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Weekend Traditions
Today we are going to Warm Beach. It is a place where you can bring your family and enjoy their lights of Christmas. We have never been and now that the kids are getting older we have decided that we will be doing this each year.
It is about 1.5 away. We are packing snacks and bundling up. Good thing I found a coat for Carter yesterday. I mean really who waits until the middle of Winter to go and find your baby a coat? Oh, well hang my name up on the wall of bad mommies. I did find a super cute Gymboree coat for 10 bucks so all is good and considering I had a 30.00 credit I had to buy a few things for Miss America.
My mother in law is hosting an Open house across the street today. I told her I would keep the kids and dog inside and maybe pick up the garbage so it looks like a clean and quiet street. I won't let them run around outside naked.
Jeremy is off doing service calls. He has stayed busy between working full-time, service calls and closing the store. We are looking forward to today. He is even excited as we will get to see some of the farms he visits each week.
I can't hear Carter. Think he went downstairs and due the fact we have not childproofed the downstairs I should go check on him, making sure he is not in the dryer or eating nickles.
Wheww...he was cuddling with Matthew...good thing.
With it being so dry here I have been boiling water and with that comes name writing on the windows...oh, well..I few rolls of paper towels and some cleaner I can remove the tic-tac toe games and the big O's off all the windows next week.
Well, I should go and get ready. Have a great Winter Saturday!
It is about 1.5 away. We are packing snacks and bundling up. Good thing I found a coat for Carter yesterday. I mean really who waits until the middle of Winter to go and find your baby a coat? Oh, well hang my name up on the wall of bad mommies. I did find a super cute Gymboree coat for 10 bucks so all is good and considering I had a 30.00 credit I had to buy a few things for Miss America.
My mother in law is hosting an Open house across the street today. I told her I would keep the kids and dog inside and maybe pick up the garbage so it looks like a clean and quiet street. I won't let them run around outside naked.
Jeremy is off doing service calls. He has stayed busy between working full-time, service calls and closing the store. We are looking forward to today. He is even excited as we will get to see some of the farms he visits each week.
I can't hear Carter. Think he went downstairs and due the fact we have not childproofed the downstairs I should go check on him, making sure he is not in the dryer or eating nickles.
Wheww...he was cuddling with Matthew...good thing.
With it being so dry here I have been boiling water and with that comes name writing on the windows...oh, well..I few rolls of paper towels and some cleaner I can remove the tic-tac toe games and the big O's off all the windows next week.
Well, I should go and get ready. Have a great Winter Saturday!
Friday, December 11, 2009
To cold
We had company over before the lighted parade last week. I made dinner and then we walked up to the main street to watch the parade. I was way to cold to snap anymore pictures....
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