Friday, January 14, 2011


My kids have not ate breakfast and are running round with no clothes on. I will not disturb them because for once they are not fighting. The are actually enjoying each others company. I am waiting for the "she bit me" He pinched me" any minute or for the to come flying upstairs to tell me they need something in their demanding whiny voices then I would have to parent but until then you get me.

Joyce Meyers has to be one gifted women I tell you. I record and watch her everyday. It helps with the anxious feeling I have and hold on to, most days. I wouldn't say I am depressed but I can't disagree with a doctor. I still get up. I shower, I do not lay in bed , although I would like to some days.

One day at church I was in the commons trying to catch my breath. Trying to go back into the worship center and I could not bring myself to the doors.

A friend who had seen me asked me if I was okay.

Of course I was! Why would she ask such a thing my face was white as a ghost, I was sweating, I looked like death of course I was just fine. I was perfect. She didn't buy it. Not for a second.

I looked at her and tried to tell her I was FINE.

No such luck. she caught on.

Her story was my story although I would have never guessed it. I would have never thought in a million years she had the same thing. NEVER. She was put together. Expecting her 3rd child , looking beautiful and here she was telling me the medications I need to get on so I could continue my life. Talk about a divine appointment.

I tried to go to Target with my Best Friend for some Christmas gifts. 15 minutes into the trip I am not doing so good. I reach for my purse and continue to let her check out for me. I take her keys run to the car and cry. I sob. How did my life get so far out of control? Would I be one of those people who are at the store at 1am shopping? I cry even harder. I ask her why this is happening?? She has no answers and encourages me. Tells me to look at how far have come in the last 3 weeks. We continue. I even went to Costco that day! YIPPEEE!

Guess what? My kids have managed to find me....they are hungry. Dressed themselves looking like Orphan Annie and now bringing me their cereal boxes.

Until next time...Stay Busy blessing everything you can bless by the words of your mouth...and remember...The Holy spirit will not work if you complain.

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