Breathe and make another to do list

My planner is beyond slammed. Just ask the sweet, kind, forgiving, family who called me at 6pm last night...asking if I was still planning on bringing dinner to them.

Oops.

Big Oops.

I pulled through.

Dinner was on their table by 6:30

seriously.

I am going to Breathe and make my list for the next week.

I swear you have your own bed.

Kids in my bed. Funny in parenting "things just happen" and yet you know you really should not get in the habit of things that will ultimately interfere with your life. Like kids sleeping in your bed.

Jeremy took a trip last week to California. Miss America was devastated that he was leaving. She has this stuffed camel , that Jeremy purchased her in Jordan last May. This camel has been on 3 trips with Jeremy. He is so good at taking pictures of Mr. camel and sending them to her. This last trip we kinda forgot to mention anything until the day we had to pack him up. She was sobbing. Throwing herself into our bed begging him to never forget her. She runs downstairs , finds Mr. camel and brings him to Jeremy so he could pack him. i seriously forgot about the camel , however she didn't.

He is trying to console her. He then mentions how she can sleep in our bed while he is away.

Dad's spot. Oh, how they love Dad's spot. It is a game they play everyday he comes home. The little ones run into our bed, get in his spot and yell for him to come in and get them. He always does.

Then Matthew being gone for a week led Miss America to our room. We made a spot for her on the floor. Matthew came home, she finally slept in her own bed. Then last night back in our bed. So ONE night in 2 weeks she slept in her own room.

I can't bring myself to tell her no. So last night I told her that this is the last night she can do this....

Jeremy pretty much called me out...

" Honey, your lying"

He was right.

Friday Facts

Thankful For:

So far being able to switch Matthew from the middle school to the academy this week. I am SOOO happy to see him SOOO happy. It is by far one of the best things I have done for him. He has only been there for three days but his attitude has changed at home. yes, he still picks on his sister and gives me the eye rolls or the coughing up a hairball answers. He is 13.

Listening To: Dishwasher. Matthew getting ready to leave and Miss America watching Arthur.


What's For Dinner:

Jeremy's in charge...He is a better cook then me however I clean up my messes.

Looking Forward To:

Spring cleaning!! Time to purge, time to make room for more random stuff we really don't need , but think if it 25 cents we REALLY need it. Stuff that is so random we only own it for about a week or so then I consign it or give it away. Toys.

Missing:

I ordered a new card..Yippeee...now I am missing 1 Cute shoe for Carter..I am missing "me" time...lost it a few years ago...it doesn't really have to "me time" but time to get my stuff done. Darn facecrack we really need to stop spending so much time together. I have stuff to do.

Quote of The Week:

"HE hit me first !"

Friday Facts...What are yours?

Maybe an end in sight?

I haven't posted much lately. Not because I have not wanted to. I have. I really have. I don't want to sound negative all the freakin time...I am thankful and many moments out of the day my heart and spirit are beaming.



I withdraw, I try not to but I do.



Tonight my tears came from out of know where. Funny how small things set you off. I wasn't trying to make my husband feel bad when I called him to see where he was on his journey home (so I could start his dinner) but as soon as I started to ask him , I started bawling. Him having no idea what the hell just happened, asked me ever so gently if I was okay. I mean he could have said what is wrong with you?? Are you crazy? Do I need to call my mom to come over? Should I check you into the mental hospital?



Of course I was okay, I was just overwhelmed. I found out today that my surgery has been set for the 12th of March. I have had surgeries, lots of them but I think I was overwhelmed that this one could be the ONE..you know Like the one that works!??



I cried and cried. I know he knows that I am in pain everyday and every moment. He knows I suck it up ALOT of the time. He knows how this injury has affected my parenting and my life. He knows how much I long to feel "better" he knows everything about the chronic condition.



He also knows I don't want to stop living. He knows I want to get out of bed everyday and try to be the best I can be. He sees me push myself till I can't push anymore. He sees how people judge me for not having a visible injury to the eye.



He didn't have to say anything on the phone tonight...I know he would fix it in a moment if he could. I know that he continues to take care of me and I know that he is EXCITED to see an end in sight. I don't share his excitement. I wish I did. The pessimistic side of me wonders if I will endure yet another year of this.



I don't want to. I want to get better. I want to be better.



And you know what I love more then anything?? On the days I feel defeated, he lifts me up and on the days he feels defeated I lift him up...



Sound cheesy?



That's okay. I'll take it.

2nd Birthday

Carter turned 2 this month..Oh, how he keeps me on my toes...

Loves Trains!

My Nephew Landon

My brother & Sister

Loves the Uncle Mikey

My first Niece...I love you Tanna

Trucks have to be his second Love

He received his own chair from Grammy & Papa...this is such a blessing for me more then anything. No more trying to drag each other out of Olivia's chair by pulling hair...fighting over one chair for the last year is no longer "normal" fighting..now they fight over Liv's Leapster. I can see why my mom bought 3 of everything. It was for her sanity.

Park Time...

The weather here has been WONDERFUL...going to the park is alot less work now that the kids are older. Carter had so much fun and Olivia has been begging to go back. I am sure we will be spending ALOT more time there this year.

STUUUUUCCCKK

I "let" him cry it out..I heard him..I ignored him.
Until I paused the TV , only to here him yelling " STTUUCCKK"

oops..I only let it go on till 11pm..good thing we didn't have to use the butter or Pam to get the foot out..but it was lodged pretty good...

I still can't get him to part with Toys R Us in his crib..but whatever works..he is out of our room!

So Sick...

It started last week. Matthew & Miss America got sick in the middle of the night..then the next day they seemed fine..then it hit Miss America again...then Carter and now me.

Thinking Liv had the chicken pox ( again) I called the doctor and went over the symptoms....she had a viral rash..when certain children get sick their body can break out in a rash/bumps looking just like chicken pox...not common but it can happen..and it may continue the rest of her life.

So here I am waiting for nap time..... My fever has been 103 for 2 days and I will spare you the rest of the symptoms.

My computer is not letting me load pictures so I had to wait for Jeremy to come home from California to load them...

Enjoy the posts that will soon follow..I have nothing better to be doing till naptime rolls around..

A HUGE THANK YOU to my sister...who came over first thing and took Miss America for the day...amazing how one kid is SOOO easy..and when I had just one..it was so hard..funny how that happens.

But..I'll Miss you

My sweet Miss America...

Today as I was watching you try and find something you lost ...I told you that I do the same thing..put things in places and forget where I put them, I then proceeded to tell you how we are so much alike and one day you'll make a wonderful mommy..you will know how to change diapers , braid hair and cook dinners all in your own home.

You looked at me and burst into tears..big tears sliding down your precious chubby cheeks and looked at me and softly whispered...

But I will forever miss you.

oh, my precious girl...I will always be close by for you, anytime any day and any way I can.

I love you.

Love, mom

Flower beds and tickets??

this weather is screaming for me to spring clean however I am not really wanting to. If i clean the flower beds now then guess what?? I have all the way till October/November to keep doing it. So why rush it? I mean living on a corner lot sucks. You have like 2 front yards and living here in Lynden where as rumor has it you can get a ticket for not having a perfect lawn. I mean according to the far away people in Bellingham, Lynden is an extremely wired freakish town that has way to much time for yard work. So I am not wanting to lump myself into that kinda stereotype.

Seriously, I love the misconception of our town.

Today I have wrote out my to do list and maybe next month I will tackle it. Joking..I am starting today.

But I draw the line at the flower bed thing..I have been enjoying the break from yard work.

I am wiping down the cupboards today..grimy fingerprints are coming off..until after lunch at least!

Friday Facts

Thankful For:



The sun shining today...and the good ol' la nina or el nino or Nemo..whatever..I am just happy that we are getting some serious good weather!! I don't care if Mr. Groundhog said there was 6 weeks more of Winter...I am enjoying each day I can send the kids outside to play and beat each other up over one of the 7 kids cars/bikes we have out there.



Listening To:

Mickey Mouse Club house..come inside its fun inside!!





What's For Dinner:



BBQ pork sandwiches and cake & Ice-cream..Birthday celebration going on around here tonight!



Looking Forward To:



Okay, so I know I have been saying this FOREVER...but I am working on finishing Liv room and Carter got some pretty cool cube shelves for his birthday ( oh, yes I am very practical!!) carter also got the anywhere chair with his name on it so now they can quit fighting with each other over Olivia's.



I found this perfect bedding/room set at Target...oh, how I wish I had money to burn....





I am needing or wanting: forgiveness needing it for myself and wanting to give it to others.



Missing:



My debit card. really..where did it go?? I am going to have to cancel and order a new one.



Quote of The Week:



Happy Birthday to BABY Carter John...



Friday Facts...what are your facts??



Check out Still Seeking and Alliwoo...

Power of Positive thinking

I am not thinking positive thoughts this morning. I wish I could. I wish I could wake up have my feet hit the floor and be smiling. Not today. Yesterday yes..today no.

I wiped my schedule clean today. I decided to not push myself. I decided that being a happy mom is alot better then looking down at my calender and wondering how I am to accomplish all the tasks.

Carter has slept through the night for a week solid! This means I add more to my schedule in hopes of having good productive fun filled days.

We managed to sign Matthew up for an appointment with Lynden Academy so we can transfer him from the middle school, go the park and play for 2 hours, grocery shop, birthday shop, preschool and the rest of the mom duties all by Wednesday this week.

Tomorrow is a yet another busy day...how can people really think staying home is easy breezy?

Matthew and I butted heads this morning over taking out the recycling. You gotta savor the eyes rolling of teenage years RIGHT??? It is part of growing up.

I remember my mom saying to me if I thought it was so bad at home I could go live by myself, pay my bills , do my own laundry, cook and be responsible for my life...the idea of all that seemed so enticing. Until 14 years later of doing it, I would do anything to have someone do my laundry, cook me dinner and pay my bills....

what is the plan for today?

Nothing. Zilch. Notta.

I really did wipe the calendar clean.

I am going push all the toys into the corner and create a spot on the floor for me to play with the kids. I am going to do laundry and run the dish washer...I will have dinner planned out by 9am...I will rejoice in today and be glad in it.

I will. I will. I will.

Happy Birthday Allstar!!

Carter John...Words cannot describe our love for you. You are a blessing to us each and everyday. We welcomed you 2 years ago on Superbowl Sunday February 3rd 2008 after many scares that we would never meet you ,prayers where answered.

45 minutes is all it took for you to make your appearance at 7 pounds 8 ounces.

Your very BUSY and love your sissy or Lah-lah and your broder...you wait for daddy each day at the door. Your always sharing your "chipoles" ( that is what you call food) with the dog. You love to talk on the phone.

After 23 months + some days you FINALLY sleep through the night!!

Your the shining light on bad days..your the laughter in our hearts...your a blessing yesterday, today and tomorrow...


May all your dreams come true....




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Happy Birthday my Sweet, Sweet boy

Headaches & Heartache..

Major Major Migraine going on today. I have not showered and want to lay in a dark room. However we all know I have kids and having kids means you, as the mom and main person in charge must be on top of the game at all times.

My head is killing me and today was my only day to get this house clean for the big Friday night event..my baby is turning 2! I managed to make my bed today thinking that was pointless..I have laid down about every 10 minutes and that has created bigger messes.

My heart is sad today and not because I have a migraine but because I feel all this sadness around me. Many families are dealing with major illness and even death. Here is an email from a high school friends mom...

" This is a hard one...Our daughter Tausha was rushed to emergency tonight.Her head pain became more frequent and more intense. MRI, Cat Scan shown a fairly large size mass in her right frontal lobe above her right ear. The mass is bleeding into her brain. She will need surgery.Not sure i...f malignant.... Please pray for Tausha, Franco and the lil boys. They need their mommy."

Tausha has 2 boys...one who just turned 2 on Friday and a 2 week old. Please lift them up in your prayers.

Please lift up Baby Case's Family in prayer as they are trying to find a new "normal"

Sometimes a headache doesn't seem so bad...

Stepping into the Power

This past weekend I was invited by my dear friend Julie , to attend a women's conference. I was not sure what to expect as I had not heard much of the conference.

When I arrived I was already exhausted. My van is on the verge of breaking down and my husband did not want me to drive it out to the conference so I had to arrange a ride , find a sitter very last minute due to the fact he called to tell me he had to work till 9pm...

Sometimes I think is going away really worth it? This time I can say it was SOOO worth it. I had quiet time all weekend. The featured speaker was Lori Salierno and she AWESOME! There was a ton of give aways and spiritual motivation all 3 days!

This was the first conference held by Women Of Whatcom and they did an amazing job.

So back to reality. Back to referring and cleaning..back to picking up the toys 1.2 million times a day...back to chubby little cheeks, hugs, kisses and even a semi clean house!!