JOB DESCRIPTION – PARENT
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Papa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging,
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
and embarrassed the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without com plaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
be com e financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more..
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Duggars...one more time
I found this on the Duggar family website...I printed it out and everyone in my family will receive their very own copy. I know how hectic life can be and sometimes we don't always get the time to blog hop...So here it is!! May you love it just as much as I did!
Always use soft words, even when you don’t feel well.
Always display kind actions and joyful attitudes, even if you have been mistreated.
Have the right response by quickly forgiving others in your heart even before they ask.
Always be enthusiastic and look for opportunities to praise others' character.
Always deflect praise and be grateful to God and others for the ways they have benefited your life.
Always use manners and be respectful of others and their belongings.
Always do what is right, even when others may not, or when no one is looking.
Thank God for how He made you, for what He has given you and everything He allows you to go through. (Romans 8:28)
Don’t mock or put others down. Develop compassion and pray for others.
Never argue, complain, or blame. Quickly admit when you have done wrong and ask for forgiveness (even if you were only 10% at fault). Don't wait till you’re caught. Be sure your sins will find you out. He who covers his sin will not prosper, but he that confesses and forsakes it shall find mercy.
Have a tough accountability/prayer partner to daily share your heart with and to keep you in line (your parents, spouse). The power of sin is in secrecy.
Be attentive and look for ways to serve others with sincere motives and no thought of self-gain.
Think pure thoughts (Philippians 4:8, Romans 13:14).
Always give a good report of others. Don't gossip! Never tale-bear unless physical harm will come to someone. (Use Matthew 18.)
Never raise a hand to hit.
Never raise a foot to kick.
Never raise an object to throw.
Never raise a voice to yell.
Never raise an eye to scowl.
Use one toy/activity at a time. Share!
Do your best to keep your surroundings neat, clean and organized.
Never let the sun go down on your wrath. (Don’t go to bed angry or guilty)
Amendment J.O.Y. -
Put Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last.
Always use soft words, even when you don’t feel well.
Always display kind actions and joyful attitudes, even if you have been mistreated.
Have the right response by quickly forgiving others in your heart even before they ask.
Always be enthusiastic and look for opportunities to praise others' character.
Always deflect praise and be grateful to God and others for the ways they have benefited your life.
Always use manners and be respectful of others and their belongings.
Always do what is right, even when others may not, or when no one is looking.
Thank God for how He made you, for what He has given you and everything He allows you to go through. (Romans 8:28)
Don’t mock or put others down. Develop compassion and pray for others.
Never argue, complain, or blame. Quickly admit when you have done wrong and ask for forgiveness (even if you were only 10% at fault). Don't wait till you’re caught. Be sure your sins will find you out. He who covers his sin will not prosper, but he that confesses and forsakes it shall find mercy.
Have a tough accountability/prayer partner to daily share your heart with and to keep you in line (your parents, spouse). The power of sin is in secrecy.
Be attentive and look for ways to serve others with sincere motives and no thought of self-gain.
Think pure thoughts (Philippians 4:8, Romans 13:14).
Always give a good report of others. Don't gossip! Never tale-bear unless physical harm will come to someone. (Use Matthew 18.)
Never raise a hand to hit.
Never raise a foot to kick.
Never raise an object to throw.
Never raise a voice to yell.
Never raise an eye to scowl.
Use one toy/activity at a time. Share!
Do your best to keep your surroundings neat, clean and organized.
Never let the sun go down on your wrath. (Don’t go to bed angry or guilty)
Amendment J.O.Y. -
Put Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Thursday's with Tiffiny
Thursday's with me!! Whoo-Hoo!! You guys are so stinkin lucky to have a good read every Thursday..well maybe not every Thursday considering I am not busy or anything.
So what is happening this week or what has happened the last week? Nothing to really write about. The snow is fun and I mean that. You know when it gets hot we will complain we don't have air-conditioner...but at least when it is cold we have heat...well, that's until they jack the prices and I can't afford a 400.00 bill. Our bill was OUTRAGEOUS last month!! I heard from others that theirs was really high also. I am Thankful we can provide right now but what about others?
So I hope this last week finds you all well and that the upcoming week you don't encounter any major hurdles.
I am Thankful For.....
My son Matthew...what an incredible kid..I am not just saying that because he is my kid but because his heart is so pure and gracious. He wakes up everyday in a great mood and he is always looking for ways to help anyone. He woke up early and was out shoveling for us and the neighbors. He has such a servants heart and inspires me daily to give just a bit more to others. He is trying to navigates through middle school which is becoming harder and harder each passing day. last night he was laying in bed with tears coming down wondering why he is picked on. How can you really give him an explanation? How can you be Christ like when all you want to do is call up these kids and give them an ear full? I can only build him up and give him the confidence he needs to navigate through this. Last night I was trying to figure out how to build him up and let him know that this is his safe place. I have decided that everyday 5 positives will flow freely from my mouth and hugs will be abundant.
I am Listening to.....
Olivia try to make Carter laugh because she just made him cry...now she is yelling to me that Carter is Happy because she made him happy..She is so rough with him..give it a few months and I sure UFC will be asking to videotape a here...Well, I just got back from being referee..Carter pulled her hair and Olivia decided to carry him out of the room..slamming the door to keep him out...well, his finger was still in...we have to have the door talk again...
What's for dinner?
I have no Idea...last night we had breakfast burritos..Tuesday Tacos..Monday BBQ chicken...tonight..?????
I am looking forward to....
Julies Birthday party!! what a fun night out with the girls celebrating such a wonderful women!! Olivia will be at Gramie's ( I am doing the HAPPY dance!) That's about as exciting as my life is getting...
I am Missing.... Simple days...the one kid days...I know it goes by fast and before I know it they will all be leaving me and then I can blog about how sad I am..but for now I am kind craving simple days..Oh and that Boy scout shirt!!
So what is happening this week or what has happened the last week? Nothing to really write about. The snow is fun and I mean that. You know when it gets hot we will complain we don't have air-conditioner...but at least when it is cold we have heat...well, that's until they jack the prices and I can't afford a 400.00 bill. Our bill was OUTRAGEOUS last month!! I heard from others that theirs was really high also. I am Thankful we can provide right now but what about others?
So I hope this last week finds you all well and that the upcoming week you don't encounter any major hurdles.
I am Thankful For.....
My son Matthew...what an incredible kid..I am not just saying that because he is my kid but because his heart is so pure and gracious. He wakes up everyday in a great mood and he is always looking for ways to help anyone. He woke up early and was out shoveling for us and the neighbors. He has such a servants heart and inspires me daily to give just a bit more to others. He is trying to navigates through middle school which is becoming harder and harder each passing day. last night he was laying in bed with tears coming down wondering why he is picked on. How can you really give him an explanation? How can you be Christ like when all you want to do is call up these kids and give them an ear full? I can only build him up and give him the confidence he needs to navigate through this. Last night I was trying to figure out how to build him up and let him know that this is his safe place. I have decided that everyday 5 positives will flow freely from my mouth and hugs will be abundant.
I am Listening to.....
Olivia try to make Carter laugh because she just made him cry...now she is yelling to me that Carter is Happy because she made him happy..She is so rough with him..give it a few months and I sure UFC will be asking to videotape a here...Well, I just got back from being referee..Carter pulled her hair and Olivia decided to carry him out of the room..slamming the door to keep him out...well, his finger was still in...we have to have the door talk again...
What's for dinner?
I have no Idea...last night we had breakfast burritos..Tuesday Tacos..Monday BBQ chicken...tonight..?????
I am looking forward to....
Julies Birthday party!! what a fun night out with the girls celebrating such a wonderful women!! Olivia will be at Gramie's ( I am doing the HAPPY dance!) That's about as exciting as my life is getting...
I am Missing.... Simple days...the one kid days...I know it goes by fast and before I know it they will all be leaving me and then I can blog about how sad I am..but for now I am kind craving simple days..Oh and that Boy scout shirt!!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Heavy hearted...
I have been following this blog for about 3 weeks...You will need to go back and read...to really understand. You to will have a heavy heart...
Baby Cora..Oh, my heart breaks for mom and dad...
Baby Cora..Oh, my heart breaks for mom and dad...
I love these...
I have a social networking site that I have done slide shows on over the last years....and so I was going through them and I had to share...Some of these are my favorites...Look for all of them to be making an appearance...
The book for a better Life...
I have been letting the boys go places after school...not for along time but till dinner...then they must come home for dinner and do homework...
It is NOT working out so well...Homework is NOT getting done...They are calling last minute to be home later and by Wednesday they are so tired from the weekend and the weekend carrying over to the week...
Monday I put the Kibosh on it...You must come home do your chores and homework and then you can return to your 'social life" but work comes before play...
Yesterday Matthew comes home...jumps onto the computer...irritated I ask him what he thinks he is doing...he replies ' I have no homework" I said yes you do..Your bible study homework that is due in 30minutes...
He does it...Mikey does his...Then after dinner I told Matthew that because he had no homework he can go read...he begs me to let him play the computer..I say no...he argues...he gives me all the reasons he can't read...no book...not that good of a reader ( I would NOT tell your mom that or you will read) and then Mikey yells from the living room...
Mikey: Hey Matthew...go get your Book for a better Life..
Matthew: No Mikey...shut-up Mikey...
Me: what is this book your talking about?
Both: Are you joking? Are you being serious right now?
Me: yes....
Both; The Bible...
I was SOOO proud!
It is NOT working out so well...Homework is NOT getting done...They are calling last minute to be home later and by Wednesday they are so tired from the weekend and the weekend carrying over to the week...
Monday I put the Kibosh on it...You must come home do your chores and homework and then you can return to your 'social life" but work comes before play...
Yesterday Matthew comes home...jumps onto the computer...irritated I ask him what he thinks he is doing...he replies ' I have no homework" I said yes you do..Your bible study homework that is due in 30minutes...
He does it...Mikey does his...Then after dinner I told Matthew that because he had no homework he can go read...he begs me to let him play the computer..I say no...he argues...he gives me all the reasons he can't read...no book...not that good of a reader ( I would NOT tell your mom that or you will read) and then Mikey yells from the living room...
Mikey: Hey Matthew...go get your Book for a better Life..
Matthew: No Mikey...shut-up Mikey...
Me: what is this book your talking about?
Both: Are you joking? Are you being serious right now?
Me: yes....
Both; The Bible...
I was SOOO proud!
Addicited to TLC
No I am not talking about Tender Loving Care although that wouldn't be a bad thing to be addicted to...I am talking about the TV channel TLC...
I must be obsessed with the Duggar Family and Not really liking Jon and Kate but have to watch it just to see if she is still an uptight mama and then I watch Toddlers and Tiaras and who can't live with out the Little People Big World?
I record all of these....Last night I stayed up way to late watching the Duggars...I secretly wish I could handle that many kids...what a fun life for a child. My aunt had 8 kids. 1 girl and 7 boys in an 1200 square foot rambler with ONE bathroom. They survived..why because first when you cram that many people into a space you MUST learn and well because they had an awesome Cousin TT (wink,wink) but seriously....it makes my skin crawl when I hear Kate complaining about how she deserves this new big house and her kids need it...blah, blah, blah....and they just got not one puppy but TWO puppies...what are you thinking? You are going to lose your mind...you have 8 kids that still need help getting dressed and you go and get 2 puppies? Your a germ freak and your husband and kids are stressed out on every episode because of you..You have not figured out how to control everything what makes you think you can control 2 animals?
I know..I shouldn't judge I don't have 8 kids...but if I did they could visit me at the hospital and I will explain to them I need that jacket...it helps me hug myself.
On to the Duggars...OH MY!!! I love them....last week they went on a missions to El Salvador..dad took a few kids..HA! and mom stayed home with the younger ones...What this father teaches them is incredible...they all have servant hearts. Jim Bob (I LOVE that name) teamed up with the SOS ministries to help out an orphanage and a poverty stricken families...I love how she teaches self control and self discipline to all of her kids...and yes there house is big but the reason for it was because she wanted then to play inside and the kids still share bedrooms..one bedroom has 3 bunk bed sets...the dynamic of her and Kate are so extreme...
Okay...on to Toddler and Tiaras... I have a daughter who love the stage...uses anything in our house create a stage and she is a princess..she had the princess shoes before she was 2...she has learned to run these Little heels. She loves to dress up! She can be found in the summer with only her tutu on swimming in her pool or jumping on the trampoline...
I have really thought about entering her into just one pageant...I don't know what kind or where they are but I feel as if she truly enjoys this then why can't that be her activity? I am not talking about spray tans, flapper teeth (fake ones for kids), wigs or eye make-up...I am talking about dressing up and showing talent, I am not sure what that talent would be...I have inquired into piano lessons for her..but whatever it maybe I don't think it is all that bad...now what the show portrays is HORRIBLE...we have moms who push their daughters way to far...we have girls crying and single moms with no money making 600.00 dresses!! I really feel as though this show gives you the worst...We don't have shows on the parents who sit on the sidelines of a baseball game yelling, cussing and throwing things (yes, I have seen it here in town) in frustration. Is that sad? Your darn right it is...but should we stray away from all activities? Should I sign my Miss America up for a pageant? I don't call her really thinking she will be Miss America but if you know my daughter you know that the name is fitting. So I guess...is there a big difference between pageants and getting the star role in a play? What is the difference? I mean if you child loves it what could it hurt? My Oldest loved karate...he was 2 belts away from black and had been studying since he was 3...and he was just not into it so we let him pull out..was that hard? YES!! We wanted to push him to continue..he was only 8..how could he really know what was the best for himself? As parents we did what we thought was best...and let him join the next activity...
My favorite on TLC is the Duggars...check out website...you can find some cool recipes and fun things.
I must be obsessed with the Duggar Family and Not really liking Jon and Kate but have to watch it just to see if she is still an uptight mama and then I watch Toddlers and Tiaras and who can't live with out the Little People Big World?
I record all of these....Last night I stayed up way to late watching the Duggars...I secretly wish I could handle that many kids...what a fun life for a child. My aunt had 8 kids. 1 girl and 7 boys in an 1200 square foot rambler with ONE bathroom. They survived..why because first when you cram that many people into a space you MUST learn and well because they had an awesome Cousin TT (wink,wink) but seriously....it makes my skin crawl when I hear Kate complaining about how she deserves this new big house and her kids need it...blah, blah, blah....and they just got not one puppy but TWO puppies...what are you thinking? You are going to lose your mind...you have 8 kids that still need help getting dressed and you go and get 2 puppies? Your a germ freak and your husband and kids are stressed out on every episode because of you..You have not figured out how to control everything what makes you think you can control 2 animals?
I know..I shouldn't judge I don't have 8 kids...but if I did they could visit me at the hospital and I will explain to them I need that jacket...it helps me hug myself.
On to the Duggars...OH MY!!! I love them....last week they went on a missions to El Salvador..dad took a few kids..HA! and mom stayed home with the younger ones...What this father teaches them is incredible...they all have servant hearts. Jim Bob (I LOVE that name) teamed up with the SOS ministries to help out an orphanage and a poverty stricken families...I love how she teaches self control and self discipline to all of her kids...and yes there house is big but the reason for it was because she wanted then to play inside and the kids still share bedrooms..one bedroom has 3 bunk bed sets...the dynamic of her and Kate are so extreme...
Okay...on to Toddler and Tiaras... I have a daughter who love the stage...uses anything in our house create a stage and she is a princess..she had the princess shoes before she was 2...she has learned to run these Little heels. She loves to dress up! She can be found in the summer with only her tutu on swimming in her pool or jumping on the trampoline...
I have really thought about entering her into just one pageant...I don't know what kind or where they are but I feel as if she truly enjoys this then why can't that be her activity? I am not talking about spray tans, flapper teeth (fake ones for kids), wigs or eye make-up...I am talking about dressing up and showing talent, I am not sure what that talent would be...I have inquired into piano lessons for her..but whatever it maybe I don't think it is all that bad...now what the show portrays is HORRIBLE...we have moms who push their daughters way to far...we have girls crying and single moms with no money making 600.00 dresses!! I really feel as though this show gives you the worst...We don't have shows on the parents who sit on the sidelines of a baseball game yelling, cussing and throwing things (yes, I have seen it here in town) in frustration. Is that sad? Your darn right it is...but should we stray away from all activities? Should I sign my Miss America up for a pageant? I don't call her really thinking she will be Miss America but if you know my daughter you know that the name is fitting. So I guess...is there a big difference between pageants and getting the star role in a play? What is the difference? I mean if you child loves it what could it hurt? My Oldest loved karate...he was 2 belts away from black and had been studying since he was 3...and he was just not into it so we let him pull out..was that hard? YES!! We wanted to push him to continue..he was only 8..how could he really know what was the best for himself? As parents we did what we thought was best...and let him join the next activity...
My favorite on TLC is the Duggars...check out website...you can find some cool recipes and fun things.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Save me from my
to do list!!
Seriously..My life is spinning out of control..I need to breathe, regroup and prepare myself for the next 18 years...okay prepare for the next week...this must be how "good" moms do it...they simply are always prepared and planful...I am not either of them..however I am becoming more prepared every time I leave the house...you can only forget the bottle,formula or diapers only once. It can really put a kink in your plans if you have no food for your baby...trust me It has happened...
I do make sure I have a half a tank of gas at all times...I have a huge fear that if we needed to get out of here...I know I could make it somewhere and well, my darling husband drives his truck down to 1 mile before he has to fill up...My Awesome mini van doesn't have that cool feature ...you know the big "ding" hey stupid...fill up your tank ding...joking...but seriously it drives me nuts that if we had an emergency he would run out of gas waiting for gas...I on the other hand will be heading down the road....with my case of water that is always in my van..I don't have any food...well, does old fries that I swear never get moldy count!?
So here is what I don't get...how can people really think that we stay at home moms don't work? Now, don't get me wrong this is not a debate on if I think moms should work...you do what you have to do..I am SOOO not the one to judge...but you know the ones who give you that disapproving eye when you say you stay home...or the ones who want to know when you will be entering the workforce to get a real job. Oh, I have had some classic conversations with others over what I really do all day. People really think I lay on the couch and watch TV all day..and yes if you minus my Faceboook addiction I could be more productive but really 1 hour a day on here for the sake of sanity is really no big deal...I am not asking you to debate me on that! :)
But really...I wake up to the same thing everyday...messy house...I clean messy house...you can';t tell I cleaned messy house..I go to bed with clean house I wake up to messy house..I wake up to 2 loads of laundry I do 2 loads I go to bed with 3 loads...I vacuum in the afternoon...I should vacuum by bedtime..I Windex the slider and I Windex the slider again...I grocery shop Monday only to find myself back there by Thursday...really? can I plan for all of this? Can I be more diligent on my to do list?
Well...I should go tackle my ever growing to do list...and yes, I only make lists to feel organized...do Il ook at it everyday and cross stuff off? No...but maybe I should start then it would take away the "frazzled" feeling...
Seriously..My life is spinning out of control..I need to breathe, regroup and prepare myself for the next 18 years...okay prepare for the next week...this must be how "good" moms do it...they simply are always prepared and planful...I am not either of them..however I am becoming more prepared every time I leave the house...you can only forget the bottle,formula or diapers only once. It can really put a kink in your plans if you have no food for your baby...trust me It has happened...
I do make sure I have a half a tank of gas at all times...I have a huge fear that if we needed to get out of here...I know I could make it somewhere and well, my darling husband drives his truck down to 1 mile before he has to fill up...My Awesome mini van doesn't have that cool feature ...you know the big "ding" hey stupid...fill up your tank ding...joking...but seriously it drives me nuts that if we had an emergency he would run out of gas waiting for gas...I on the other hand will be heading down the road....with my case of water that is always in my van..I don't have any food...well, does old fries that I swear never get moldy count!?
So here is what I don't get...how can people really think that we stay at home moms don't work? Now, don't get me wrong this is not a debate on if I think moms should work...you do what you have to do..I am SOOO not the one to judge...but you know the ones who give you that disapproving eye when you say you stay home...or the ones who want to know when you will be entering the workforce to get a real job. Oh, I have had some classic conversations with others over what I really do all day. People really think I lay on the couch and watch TV all day..and yes if you minus my Faceboook addiction I could be more productive but really 1 hour a day on here for the sake of sanity is really no big deal...I am not asking you to debate me on that! :)
But really...I wake up to the same thing everyday...messy house...I clean messy house...you can';t tell I cleaned messy house..I go to bed with clean house I wake up to messy house..I wake up to 2 loads of laundry I do 2 loads I go to bed with 3 loads...I vacuum in the afternoon...I should vacuum by bedtime..I Windex the slider and I Windex the slider again...I grocery shop Monday only to find myself back there by Thursday...really? can I plan for all of this? Can I be more diligent on my to do list?
Well...I should go tackle my ever growing to do list...and yes, I only make lists to feel organized...do Il ook at it everyday and cross stuff off? No...but maybe I should start then it would take away the "frazzled" feeling...
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