Thursday, January 17, 2013

You're Responsible

Parenting is not easy. You are constantly trying to navigate through growing pains and hormones ( for those with teenagers). If you have not reached a certain age with your child then how about you keep your opinions to yourself? If you have not struggled in an area,  then how about you just listen. Don't tell me "what you would do."

You have not been there and if you ever do walk through the struggle I hope you have friends or a mentor who will encourage you.

My daughter who is 7 ( keep this in mind) knows that God has created us all different. Some have scars, some have no limbs, some look different and in her eyes some can look scary. Some people look beautiful to her and even if we don't see the good, children do.

 My daughter struggles with her weight.

This does not mean I chalk it up to genetics. This means I make her lunch for school every day but Friday's ( it is pizza day) I make sure she gets her outdoor time, I sign her up for activities and limit TV time. I have seen a nutritionist and talk to the doctor. I give her 10 pieces of Halloween candy and hide the rest or throw it away.

Do I fail sometimes...yes. Are some of my meals high in calories? Yes.

Do I cry for her when others call her fat? YES! Do I struggle with finding clothes that fit her and are age appropriate? YES!

 I get so mad when a child who is at the age to know better calls her names and then the parent makes excuses for why her child and on why he did what he did.I don't care if he felt left out, I don't care if he was tired and I don't care what you feed your child.  So if your child has a long day at school and work it will be okay for him to call you names? What about when he gets married? He has a long day at the office and goes home tired..wife says something he calls her names. This is what your setting your child up to do if you don't talk about dealing with emotions.

AND WHAT I when the MOTHER texts me that she has a diet for my daughter to go on.

Really? This was last week and I am still mad. Hurt. Sad. Confused on why this child was not disciplined. Why this mom thought it would be okay to divert the attention from her child back to mine.

I have a 16 year old. Until you have parented a teenager then don't tell me what I am doing wrong.

I will never forget when my oldest, who was 5 at the time called someone fat. He was in big trouble. I was mortified I thought he would never say that. I thought I covered the whole "being different" topic with him. I sat him onto the counter, put soap in his mouth and then continued to educate him on how words effect others.

We have a responsibility to teach emotions. Just like we have a responsibility on teaching them hygiene.

They don't know the difference between anger or hurt. Frustration. Irritation. disappointment. Anxiousness. Scared. Joy. Happiness. Contentment.

I am not trying to tell you how to parent your kids. I wasn't even sure I should write this. I did. I wanted to share with you on what a parent feels like, when their child is effected by this behavior.

I was mortified in the fact that the MOM ( who has 4 kids) whom I barely know, even if she lives right next door tells me she has a diet for my 7 year old.

I will bring that up to my Doctor. Oh, wait already did. Kids should not be on diets.

She has lost 11 pounds since the Summer...he was a bit concerned about that...but I told him we are trying really hard to help her make right choices, play outside more and get her involved with habits that will last a lifetime. He was happy with that.

Yes, it does hurt when you see kids who wear the size they should and they eat junk food all the time and never go outside. Here you sit trying to figure out ways to boost your child's self confidence. Do I cry for her. Yes.

A pop at Grandma's house is not going to make her fat. Having cases of pop ( I don't) at our house will. Having the every 2 month visit to fast food is not going to make her fat, going weekly will.

Until you have this struggle with your child in regards to this....You're responsible for keeping quite.

And why is it that we need more compassion for a child with Autism or a special needs or mental health issues? Why can't compassion just be the normal for all kids? Why can't we just have a special place in our hearts for all kids and adults who struggle with something? I see it all the time...We need Awareness for this and that.....What we need is to take responsibility for our own kids, to see that know matter what, we all have feelings, we are all unique and when you make fun of someone for any reason you are hurting someone.

Even if my daughter doesn't cry...I do for her.

1 ...Stalker Comments:

Jenny Miller

Just aw this Tiffiny, what a great blog entry. We struggle with this at our home as well and I am so glad that I am not the only one who feels this exact same way :) You are a great mommy, keep it up!