Lost..my thoughts always swirl in my head. I have mentioned that before. I want to blog. I want to write. I want to publish a book someday.
My crazy life. However I have been lost and confused on what I should write or even what I should blog. I realized last night laying in bed that even if I don't share my story I can share my kids and there
NOT so funny to me, but to everyone else they are.
My last surgery was not as successful as I had hoped. I went for a CT scan last week and of course my Doctor is out of the country. Go figure. Like he needs a break. Just joking he is a kick a** doctor who cares alot about his patients including me. I have been going to him for over 6 years.
Feels like I have someone stepping on my tail bone every minute of everyday. I continue my job as a mom and a wife but there are days I just want to do nothing. Crawl in bed and eat Oreo Balls...no joke. My counselor wouldn't think that was the best idea but I can disagree with someone who has BA degree in physc, right?!?
Yes, I have been seeing a counselor for over a year. It helps alot. If I go more then two weeks without seeing him my life seems to be out of control. I know I have a God but sometimes I get angry with him ( not a good thing) for this...this life...the one that started at birth.
I was telling my counselor how jealous I was of certain people ( for many reasons) like they have a job, they are committed room moms, they don't need drugs....and he asked me if I was to give them 5 back surgeries would they be the same person??
The answer was NO...their whole life would be changed.
I worry. I worry more then the average joe. I hate it. I hate going through each day learning to change my thought process. I hate knowing that it is all mental.
Sooooo....Mix mental with physical and you get someone lost in the trenches.
Another reason I quit blogging is the spelling Nazi's I have out there. I should have paid more attention in high school. I get that. Or in elementary school or in middle school...whatever. I am who I am.
If you critique my blog then don't read it. My insecurity is no more. I am who I am. I would have paid more attention..but when your home life sucks and you feel the way I did, you are not in the state of mind to pay attention.
So once again..I say I am back..my therapy for me is this..
The Story of My Life.....
I am a huge lover of Halloween costumes! Most people collect tea cups, spoons, arts & crafts, and other stuff you can display...but me it is ugly holiday sweaters and costumes!! This year Carter was our puppy. During the small amount of time we went trick or treating he would walk like a dog to each house...at one point going into a house and sitting there like a dog. House after house I had to coax him out of the house....one real dog even took to him as a play mate.
