Treasure In Every Trial

They last doctor told me that there was nothing else he could do for me. I guess 4 surgeries couldn't fix it Why attempted a 5th ?

I hit rock bottom.

I could not really believe that this was something I was going to live with my whole life. I didn't process it. I dwelled on it. I secretly held on to it. I worried about it. I felt low. Lower then I had expected

Pain takes the patience right out of you. It takes your mind to places you don't want to be. No amount of medication can or will fix it. You can't take your mind off the pain that radiates down your legs and through your back.

Your cautious of everything. Your worried about walking across a snowy parking lot, riding a ride at the fair , walking to long, pushing the cart at Costco with 8 gallons of milk in it. You know for a fact that when you get out there and do normal everyday stuff you will pay for it. I try not to think about it and just do. I look normal. I am so not normal, ask my best friend I have to keep going. If I don't then I Will focus on my worries , thus leading me to panic mode.

Going out to dinner is painful. Sitting for a mere hour can suck the joy right out of you. I should order a few shots of Tequila but I don't even though it would be a temporary fix to my pain. I might just laugh again.

Chronic is a big word. I hate the word. I really really really do ( did you get that?) and I hate everything about this.

But my new Mantra is ....I will find Treasure in every Trial. ( thanks Joyce Meyers)