Nothing witty

I am here....I just really have bloggers block! Skipped the Not Me! Monday! due to losing my mind over the last week. It has been a roller coaster of emotions. I would like to say I feel guided right now but I don't. I read my sister in laws new blog and it
brings me such relief to know that I we all have a story. Good or bad we all have one.






I woke up this morning after finally making it to bed at 10:30 last night (early for this momma) with finally feeling as though I can accomplish something but instead woke up with a sore throat and an icky nose. I am already feeling Blah..so that just topped it.

I log into play that darn Bejeweled game thinking that they have reset the scores and wouldn't you know I hit over 100,000 but it would not give me my medal. I had not beat my last score and they did not reset the board. Still leaving Ms. Jenn in first place. I close my eyes and can see the jewels falling into place. It is bad..but I did finish up all the laundry yesterday and grocery shopping before somebody called CPS telling them I starve my kids and they are filthy due to my addiction of that darned Facecrack bejeweled game.



Last night I heard the boys laughing so hard downstairs I had to laugh too. It has been awhile since they both laughed like that. Matthew had decided to TP Mikey's room. Matthew asked me if he could I told me that we only have 3 rolls left and they would be lucky if I went to Costco this week. He told me he had just enough. Mikey came back upstairs to tell me Olivia had gotten into the toilet paper again, I told him that I don't think It was Olivia...he quickly realized that it was Matthew. Mikey is on the next prank...


Olivia is really concerned about not being able to write her name out for preschool. She would like to learn it so they can move her to Kindergarten. we have been working on gathering up all the Binky's and putting them in an envelope with her letter to the Binky fairy...she will mail them off in return for a new Tinkerbell bike. She is overly excited to put her car seat into Gramie Karen's car and have Gramie take her to Great Wolf Lodge ( we are going there Spring Break) I told her Matthew and I will be joining her but she doesn't want us to. She only wants her Gramie and Papa. I told her Papa was not going and she started to get hysterical. Everything is Drama...the boys are calling her drama momma..


Stupid Dish network still has not renewed with Komo 4...that means I don't get to watch my top 3 favorite shows..unless I pull out the laptop. This was fun for the first few weeks and now it is pain in my butt. Seriously Dish network..get it together. I will be calling this week to pay the extra 5 bucks for another feed of ABC. Maybe I will feel like I am actually taking me time...and that might make me happier :)


Adventure Club will be coming to a close this week...this year has went by so fast...the boys will be out of school in no time. Oh, what to do with them...Matthew is go getter..he is already starting his own garden and has lined up 2 lawn mowing jobs. Mikey..needs to find a job. SOON!

Jeremy has been working a lot..I love this guy!! He is such a hard worker. I can see where Matthew gets it. Jeremy is raising money for his missions trip and with that we are doing a big garage sale. You know when we are starting to get busy when garage sales and opening day fishing is right around the corner! Olivia is so excited...Her princess pole is ready for Papa to help her get "big fish". She tells me they are to "heaby" for her so Papa will need to do it all for her. She tells me that Papa will let her drive his boat. Matthew tells her he won't because she will crash it. Of course...she starts crying. Matthew loves to get her going...okay, piss her off... to really let you know how it goes EVERYDAY between the 2 of them,


Well, the kiddos are stirring and I want to play the game at least 10 more times...Have a great day..I have all my posts on paper and soon will be getting them on here.

struggling...

Being a step parent has to be hard job...Now I am not step-parent ( where did they every get that from? I hate it) and I am not an official foster mom but right now i have a young man in my house who is not my biological child. I love him. I worry about him. I care for him. But he is not my child. He is has not been with me since birth. He has not laid his newborn head on my chest seconds after birth. I care tremendously about his welfare. I feel torn. I feel lost. I feel like I am not sure if this is the best thing for me. This is wearing me out. This is a huge challenge. I have always wanted to be foster parent...to a teenager? not so sure.

Drugs. Sex. friends. Everything seems to moving full speed ahead and I am not ready for Matthew to arrive to the temptations. I am a not ready for all of this. How DO I do this?

When your parenting another child why is so wrong to admit that you have a different kind of love for them? Why are people so quiet about the struggles of this dynamic parenting? I am finding that I keep hitting a road block when it comes to seeking advice or counsel on how to go about all of this?

You may not be the parent but you are here. You are holding their hand when they are scared, You are bringing them to the doctor and the dentist. You are folding their laundry. You are coaching them everyday on the right thing to say and do....and yet you are not their parent.Plain and simple. SO when it gets tough do you walk away? Should I walk away? Should I throw my hands up in despair and call it quits? Have we impacted his life? Will we make a difference? How many of you have been foster parents?

I look back over the last 9 months..He has grown closer to God...He has been baptised.. He passed a few classes...but the he has also given us run for our money with a few run ins with the Law.

Someone Said to me yesterday that when your doing Gods work..he will take care of you and your other children. He calls us to take care of the children....is my will Gods will?

Six days and counting... Miss America will not take her swimsuit off!

and he is off...

updates...

Yep, Jeremy made into the USA...Only after his loving, hot, super supportive, mom to his wonderful kids stood in line waiting for the Department of health to open at 8:30am and then driving all the way to the Sumas Border to hand him the piece of paper to prove he was born. I told him to call his mom and have her talk to the border agent. He didn't think that was such a good idea. Anyways, He is safe and sound!!

Ms. America needed a new swimsuit so she spotted the tutu Tinkerbell suit and had to have it! Best money I have ever spent. Bought it on Saturday and she has yet to take that thing off. Don't worry I have given her a bath. Oh, I love her! Pictures soon! She is excited about Easter. I do believe that this is her favorite Holiday. We talk about Jesus everyday and try to explain to her the meaning of Easter but she is only focused on getting the eggs in her Princess basket ( which I will not buy for her)

Today she spilt my coffee all over my Planner. My precious planner. My life. My love. ruined. When I noticed what she had done...She quickly reminded me that I have Jesus in my heart and that I should not get mad.

Matthew is just getting over a nasty cold. Spent the last 3 days home from school. I am starting to get it. I have been loading up on the vitamins!!

Carter is walking all over. He loves to be outside and as of yesterday I brought all the toys to the deck and put up the gate. He love his cozy coupe car.

Mikey is working on passing all of his classes and is looking for a job. He went and got a few applications. Now I just need him to fill them out.

Carter is sleeping in the crib. It hasn't been to bad I must say. I love having my room back.

Jeremy will be graduation from his Bible class!! Very Proud of him and all he has learned. The class is going to Bethlehem and Jordan in May. Through much prayer and sacrifice he is planning on joining his class on the mission trip. He is looking forward to doing Gods work. They have so much planned for the days he will be there.

And Me? well, I have been a bit sluggish lately. Not sure why. I see the back specialist on the 6th and form then they will decide if another surgery is needed. I am pretty anxious. This road to recovery is LONG!! Not sure how much more I can take. I have Faith in the Lord that this is his perfect plan for us but at times it really sucks. Point Blank...I hate it. I hate not being able to live my life like I want to. I hate having limitations. I have also learned to take each day and work it to my advantage. Like laying on the horn when I can't unload from a big Costco trip and watching everyone scurrying to get their shoes on to help me. Nice!! No, seriously...I am learning to bridge the gap from where I was to where I am now.

I am still working on my Frugal Fridays Blog postings!...This is my passion. I am a lover to being frugal. I am not the best at it but I am learning...more to come!

Thursday's with Tiffiny

I am Thankful for

This week I am Thankful for my Best friend Jenn..We are so Opposite...Night and day different. Our political views are very different. She has Organization skills I have NONE. I Cook everyday..she cuts her fingers every time she is in the kitchen. what makes us best friends? I was thinking of this the other day....Her heart is pure as Gold. She is not judgmental. She looks at every situation with calmness. Something I don't do. She is giving!! She never brings Kayleigh over with out something for Olivia. She spoils Matthew and always has. She has no siblings however we are as close as sisters. She is honest with me at all times even if it hurts. I cannot remember a time in over 15 years I have gotten mad at her. I love her. She impacts my life daily.

My heart has been full of gratitude for those around me who love me and my family. who love my children and take time to nurture relationships with us. I really feel this is the best thing I can EVER give my children is relationships. A Relationship with the Lord and with people..some we call family and other we call friends.






I am Listening to.....

The Backyardigians...Carter's new thing is to actually lay on the couch for a whole show!! How awesome is that!?! I get to be a complete lazy mom for 30 minutes!! or 30 hours!! HA!!

What's for dinner?

Crock pot...Spicy Steak and vegis over noodles.YUMMO!



I am looking forward to....

Finding that missing Boy Scout shirt...I am going to have a giveaway party when I find that darn thing...Maybe the lucky blog commenter will win the boy scout shirt considering I might not need it!!...Okay, maybe I will just in CASE I lose the new one.

Spring Break...We are going to spend the night at the Great Wolf Water park!!

I am looking forward to the sun sticking around for a few days at time...My yard is calling me!!

I am also looking forward to kicking Jenn's cutie patootie on Bejeweled!!


I am Missing....

My Blog time..I always think of so much to blog about...But lately I am not sure if I should post. I felt better knowing that I didn't have very many readers...and now I get bloggers block thinking of what all you might have to say to me. So maybe now that I am not blogging as much I can look for the Boy Scout Shirt!!

Happy week to all of you!

irritated.

When the phone rings at 3:40 am do you ignore it? NO! You are already finding the phone in a panic..thinking that a loved one has been killed. Okay, maybe that is just me but pure adrenaline kicks in.

So when MY phone rang at 3:40 in the morning I get up and get it all the while saying a little quick prayer that everything will be okay. It is my husband. He is stuck in Canada with NO birth certificate. He wants me to bring in to him so he can cross and finish working. I should have had him call his mom and go claim him...like an animal at the pound.

My eyes are glued shut my head is foggy and through the blah..blah..blah...I got this out of it....

I need you. I need you. I can't manage paperwork or let alone taking out the trash without you. I need a list given to me everyday of what you need from me. I will in return give you a list of all the things I can do myself but would rather play on the weekends then do them. I can't live my life without you. I have needed a secretary and a maid my whole life and I found one.


All he heard...

Are you for reals? I will call you back. I need to think. You did WHAT? Did they tell you that YESTERDAY when you went through? You knew YESTERDAY that it was not in your wallet? When did you plan on finding it? This really irritates me.

So I go to the filing cabinet...look in the folder of all the birth certificates and WhOO NELLY...there is everyone BUT Jeremy's. WTHeck? Really? Seriously? I can't think. I am now really super pissed all the while saying quick Little prayers to help me find it.

after 1 hour I am done. I have ripped apart the filing cabinet. Dug through every piece of paperwork. I can't find his stupid birth certificate. I call him. He is worried they might keep him Canada. I am thinking..Good, serves your irresponsible butt right...then I think..oh, poor guy..he had to call his wife at 3:40 in the morning..knowing she went to bed at 12am and tell her what an idiot he was. I know he must feel really bad. Then the pissy me starts thinking....okay, you don't want to know. It wasn't pretty and his mom reads the blog.

So No birth certificate. He is trying to make it through the border as we speak. But I can't search anymore...Matthew has been throwing up since 4:50am...

Looks like I Will standing in line at 8:30 am a the health department with 2 screaming kids in tow.

Ahh..the things we do for Love....Yes, I still love him.

On a good note....

I can play Bejeweled with out interruption.

Carter slept in his crib for the very first time last night!!! Only woke up once and didn't wake up Ms. America. Maybe just maybe I will get my room back!! If I don't I think I will paint the bathroom walls blue throw up his name and call it his room.

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.















Things I did NOT say this week...

Don't call your brother a jerk or a loser..That is not nice.

Give me one more minute for my game.

Go to your room.

Do not eat your dinner like a dog.

You cannot take a bath with your tutu on.

Keep your fingers out of the sour cream.

Don't bite your brothers butt.

Go get me the scissors and do NOT cut your brothers Hair.

Do not ride your skateboard on my flower box

If you do not feed your dog...I will not feed you.

If you go through another box of caprisuns in 2 hours I will never buy them again.

Stay out of my coffee.

You are grounded until you graduate.

Take that rap crap off your Ipod.

Have a great week...I am hoping the sun shines!

Looking

Growing up was not easy for me. It was a dark and uncomfortable childhood. I have gotten past all that. I have forgiven and I hope I have been forgiven. I don't have alot of dark days where I find myself reliving the past. I DO have traits from my childhood that I have learned that makes me who I am today. It makes me remember why I do what I do, why I feel the way I do and how I process situations.

I remember as a child looking at these other "happy" families and making a mental note on what and how they did things. One family went swimming every Friday night. Another family always had their door open for anyone. One family sang in the car everywhere they went.

Where am I going with this? I just figured out that I have never stopped looking for a role model. Not then and Not today. Does this make me weak? I don't think so. I think it makes me wise. I was not equipped with the basic tools and if I was I am sure most of life is from trial and error. I believe knowledge is power. I don't stop looking. Looking for advice. Looking for comfort. Looking for direction.

I can't sleep..I want to write every single person in my life then and now and tell them the one thing they did that changed my life forever. I don't ever want to miss my chance.

Wow..this is deep...:)

Thursday's With Tiffiny

Had to give the Bejeweled a rest and hop on over to give you the scoop on our life. You know the title of the blog..The story of our life? It should be called the story of my life. Gone are the days of sleeping. Gone are the days of showering with out 2 kids dumping boxes of cereal on the floor , hitting each other, locking one in the cupboard until he is screaming hysterical and I have to get out soaking wet and rescue him. Normally I can handle my life...I just roll with the flow...the flow of getting JACK CRAP done all day. I play with my kids, I love on my kids, I try and make my kids obey , I read to my kids, I show my kids how to Text, blog and surf facecrack all day. I have even showed them how to play Bejeweled. Matching the colors. Olivia likes the diamonds the best. Thanks Gramie!
Anyways, Sorry for the rambling...I guess your here to read Thursday's with Tiffiny...You should check out my Partner in crime. Thursday's with Tiffani She is another mom here in town..Met her once years ago at a BBQ..we are VERY similar..Maybe we could meet someday of we could find our car keys or get off the computer and get the kids dressed.

I am Thankful for

I don't normally have a problem with this one. I am thankful everyday I am thankful for everything. From toothpaste to my right to vote and have children. But I have been a little stressed lately. I really don't have nay need to be..who doesn't have stress? I mean we all do..I am Thankful I have stress which means I have a life.


I am Listening to.....

Olivia munching on Popcorn. She waits everyday for Carter to go to bed so she can get a bag of popcorn.


What's for dinner?

Taco soup...Jeremy's Favorite...I am going to Chuckee cheese for dinner!!



I am looking forward to....

BUNKO on Friday..Having a garage sale..I got my room done today..every nook and cranny De cluttered and cleaned!! It feels like I just moved in! Okay, take out the darn playpen and the 1year old and It would feel like I just moved in..I am still pretending we are downsizing to a 3 bedroom apartment!

I am Missing....

The sun!! It really is making me go crazy!! So crazy I still can't find the darn Boy Scout Shirt...and yes, I had to buy a new one!! 71 bucks Later...