today...

Today I am sure my child will need therapy because of my lack of desire to play with her. She has watched 4 episodes of Olivia...not taking a break but only yelling at me from the living room to get her a cup, a sandwich, her doll and her blanky. So demanding...where does she get that from..must be my husbands side of the family..JOKING!! I love you all...

It is NOT that I don't want to play with her but I can only stand playing dolls for umm..about 7 minutes..but I push through creating 60 minutes worth of doll playing...Here is a doll conversation..

'oh, look her comes daddy from work"

"hi, daddy"

"can I have dinner?"

Typical..dad gets to go to work and enjoy a 45 minute commute..I wake up to my children at eye level yelling at me to get up and get them something to eat..I wake up to my 1 year old trying to peek over our footboard yelling...moommmaaa..I don't move..praying for him to give up and go back to sleep...

Dad gets to smell the outside air..Dad only has to worry about buckling up himself dad can shower in quiet and take a 10 minute shower not one that consist of opening up the door 10 times in your 6minutes to see if your child has put the make-up all over her brother. Dad will get the comfy chair..the remote..the big piece of chicken and coffee made the next morning for him.

You get it...I do have to say for the most part dad has to make sure we are ALL taken care of...

We are the moms..we are the ones who worry if our kids will need therapy ( I assure I will be blamed for some part of dysfunction in their lives) the ones who for the majority stay home with the kids all day and spend more time then they want to admit looking for adult conversation through social networking sites..once again my addicting behavior is shinning through..

I am trying really hard to spend all day creating things to do...we are learning to spell her name. We are counting to 30. We are learning to recognize the alphabet. This my friends is why I sometimes secretly envy working moms who get to drop off their child at daycare. Daycare children get to learn so much everyday...structure and playing nicely together and they adapt better..however I do get to control what my children are subject to. flip-side..I am the role model all day everyday (SCARY!!)

Today I wished I could dress up in nice clothes and go into an office with people who really don't care about me..only ask me how I am doing to be nice. People that could care less...no pressure to be that someones hero..no pressure....

Thursday's with Tiffiny

Hello my fellow blogger friends! I hope this week finds you all full with love. I am staying off facebook for the whole day so If you find that I have 101 blog postings it is only because I love this computer way to much. No seriously, facebook, myspace and blogging can take so much of my time. I find myself blog stalking, face staking and space stalking..
I do get my stuff done and often only popping in for a few minutes here or there but it is like therapy and a drug all rolled into one for me. I can't really carry on a conversation with a 1year old and 3 year old. I look around and I can only vacuum so many times or wipe the counter so many times. I guess what I am trying to say is I have no life!! My kids are my life and they are ALL taken care of. My computer addiction has not interfered with family..not yet...

So here is my weekly Thursday posting...Hope you enjoy!


I am thankful for...my new red kitchen!! I am forever grateful to my mother in law (and Papa) for opening up their home to have a small family gathering for a celebration in honor of my last baby turning 1 !! I am thankful for my children. They are a blessing and some days when the burden seems to much I know that there a millions of families wanting children and I have been blessed with 3 children!! 2 with premature births and one that I had to be on bedrest with. My Olivia...10 days in the NICU..I am blessed by our father in heaven..I may not feel so blessed in between dirty diapers, snotty noses and attitudes but I KNOW I am...

I'm listening to...Olivia tattle on Carter...Carter screaming and Olivia telling me how to spell her name. Olivia is now so excited that the new show " Olivia" is on...


What's for dinner tonight....Pulled pork fajitas in the crock pot!! Of course it is in the crock pot!

What I'm looking forward to...Carter Turning one!! Disney Playhouse Live with Jenn and Kayleigh in Everett this weekend. date night with my husband. We have been so good doing this for the last month. Nothing fancy..just driving to town to do a return but we are together. I love that man!

What's happening this week....

Lots!! One birthday at the Jump Zone and one a Chuckee Cheese..all in the same day!
the painting of 2 more rooms. A baby shower...Busy busy week. Maybe I will mop my floors ,clean a bathroom ,do 30 loads of laundry...maybe!?! ..no I will have do those things...I wish I could put that under the ' what I am looking forward to list'

What a JEWEL...

My dear friend Julie has a heart that has no boundaries. She is truly an amazing woman. She is full of God Beauty and grace. Forgives easily and loves when she feels like she can't. She recognizes her friends heart and carries the burden of others. She is a wonderful mom to 3 girls and a wonderful and patient wife. She cooks for others in need and often dropping off random goodies. She can fill your spirit as well as your tummy. She thinks of others more then herself and knows her treasures await her in heaven. She is kind. She is truly a wonderful listener. She will not judge you. She is always first to offer her time to anyone.

Julie knew that when It comes to painting I can't seem to pull it off...it starts with finding the right color and then it starts with me NOT, I repeat NOT being a detailed oriented person. Painting is not only a fear of mine but a huge burden.

I have wanted a red "something' wall for over 7 years....she took it upon herself to give up HER TIME to come over and help a friend in need. It was not necessarily a 'need" but a desire. She knew me all to well that I would not have asked for help. She showed up and took care of me as she always does.

Once again...I can't thank you enough. I will pay it forward.

I love you Julie....You are one of a kind and my life is better because I know you.

Not me Monday's

This is my Miss America...where has time gone!!



Here it is Monday already!!

last week I had not one appointment on the book, now this week I have 6 appointments and next week 9 through out hte week! not to mention Carters 1st birthday and a trip to Disney Playhouse Live!

So what did I NOT do this last week....

I certainly did not let Carter play in the toilet as I was scrubbing the tub and the shower. I did not let Miss America have peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner at least 3 nights last week along with her fruits and vegi's...

I did NOT let Miss America have her way to many times this week...to the point I did NOT create a little monster.

I did NOT look back when getting out of the van and see Miss America was not buckled and I did NOT hear ' good thing the cops not get me cuz I not buckled up mom"

what a week...Nothing is ever the same with children!! Happy Monday!!

Princess Super Hero..

Here she is MISS AMERICA....









If you have ever read the Olivia books you will know that that book was written for her. She is always changing her clothes. Trying to find the right outfit. She found an American flag that was given out at our local lighted parade and she put it on her neck as a cape and called herself Miss America. Then she proceeded to call her friend Kayleigh to ask her if she was excited fro preschool and if her grandma could drive her over to play.

oh, my Olivia..my days are so much brighter since you joined our family.

This always makes me chuckle..

When you put your picture card in the computer to download your pictures and realize that your camera has been hijacked by a teenager trying to find the right picture for a certain social networking sight or some random picture of nothing.

I was listening...

Some of know that I have anxiety so bad that I need medication on a daily basis to help me get through normal day to day things. I get overwhelmed with the simple thoughts of packing up the kids and leaving, cleaning for friends to come over, paying bills, shopping...It is not like panic attacks or crazy talking to yourself moments but it is real. It is something that I battle with on a daily basis.

As a child I grew up not ever processing anything. You learned quickly as you get older that everything is a process. To look one step ahead and and think through everything. I am learning that ability to think that we will get through each moment and it will be okay. It is okay to leave toys on the floor before you leave the house. It is okay that your bathroom mirrors are covered in soapy hand prints from your 3 year old who loves your "yummy smell" soap. It is okay that if someone comes by and your house is not perfect that it does not mean you are a failure. Deep inside of me I fear everything. Someday's it has over taken my ability to be a mom..not just an okay for the day mom but a mom who is so overcome with fear of not being good enough that she won't get up from bed. A mom who loves her children more then anything but some how thinks she will never raise them good enough.

So where am I going with this!?! Oh, yes...Yesterday i loaded up both kids..to go get a much need mocha and McDonald's drive-thru for Liv...When I was in the coffee line I heard God speak to my heart..buy the coffee behind you..I argued with him..what? I have very little money and this is splurge for me..what if she buys a 6.00 drink!?! He nudged me again...if I can take care of sparrows I can take care of you..So I pulled up to the counter..Told the lady i was going to buy the ladies drink behind me ( Really cool because what she ordered is on the computer) So I get my drink and the barista told me the lady had a free drink card and would I like to buy the car behind it a coffee? Nope, I need to buy the lady behind me a coffee..tell her to pay it forward..

My strength to leave the House..to get them ready and loaded ( this being the hardest for me because of my daily chronic pain) came from our heavenly father..it really did and I couldn't have done anything different then obey what he asked of me.

and yes..not that it matters but she did have a 6.00 drink :)So Pay it forward it is AWESOME!!!

It is EASY...

to follow my blog..instead of clicking on here umpteen million times a day to see if I have posted another crazy thing about our crazy family just click " follow this blog" under I will be the leader you be the follower...I just want EVERYONE to know that I follow our Jesus...so Follow me because I am following him!! Its easy...If you need more help just email me!

12:48am

what am I doing awake at 12:48 am!?! Well . since you asked me...I will tell you that I got a call tonight around 8 from my neighbor asking me to go check on his wife...she seemed really sick and in rough shape on the phone ( he is California) So I went over and she was in bed not looking so hot. I grabbed her 6 year old son and packed his bag and had him go to my house for for some serious wii action with the boys. I then returned to the neighbor's house and waited for her older daughter to arrive so she could take her to the hospital..When Carlie arrived home we then realized we should call 911 and so we did..the went ahead a transported her to the hospital. W waited in the ER waiting room for about 3 hours..She is still there testing so I can home and now waiting for the call to go back and get her.....

So Life in the ER on a Friday night is so entertaining...Not funny hahaha someone is hurt but " Real" life happens there. A young girl came in visibly upset her other friend had alcohol poisoning and was brought in by medics..then when the young girl ( about 18) was told she had to wait in the waiting room she started sobbing at which point "crazy" man who really liked girls or women sat down and talked with her...within MINUTES!!! I mean like SECONDS!! She had managed to share her phone numbers, last name , address, who she lived with ( her roommates) and where she worked..I was blown away!!! Do we not teach our children this stuff!? How many times do you think oh, my child would never do that...well, my friends someones child did it tonight and it was scary. As we were leaving I told the front staff ( like they could really do anything about a young beautiful girl sharing her PERSONAL info with a crazy man) to make sure they kept an eye on her...

Then I got to meet a man who served in IRAQ...what a moment..THANK YOU for serving for US!

The guy next to us shared his personal story...from being abused to having 9 month sober but don't worry..he would never kill himself..he is happy the doctors have him on about 5 different drugs to keep him pain free and happy!!

So here I am decompressing...thinking how everyone has a story. I have a story. a pretty rough life story. I am no one to judge...not anyone. We are created out of environments we were raised in. Your story will always begin at home.

I will blog later on my travel back into time at taco bell...stay tuned it was fun!!

Thursday's with Tiffiny

I know the picture has nothing to do with the post..but I can't believe how big she is getting!! I just enrolled her into preschool!


I'm thankful for...the sun that is shining and payday..need I say more? Oh, and my kiddos are still sleeping

I'm listening to...a pair of overalls going round and round in the dryer

In the oven...will be hashbrown bake..yummy


What's for dinner tonight....steak in the crockpot..with lots of yummy sauce and vegis.


What I'm looking forward to...the boys cleaning up my yard after school and maybe getting caught up on the laundry pile.

What's happening this week....

nothing much...Have a bout 5 appointments on the calender and Carters party on the 31st..then we are going to Disney playhouse with Jenn and Kayleigh..Olivia will love it!





I am missing...if you still are wondering about the Boy scout shirt..Have NOT found that stinking thing yet!! I am missing warm sun...but I will not complain :)


If you want to just copy & Paste this post and tell us about your week!! Look forward to reading it!